i don't really feel like making this private. if i have anything explicit to say or do in the near future i will then.
whatever.

thomas's booty dancing

dear readers
i am (regettably) making my blog readers only due to the apparently questionable nature of some of my postings and the high level of personal interpretation allowed within internet interaction.
this is what i personally like about the internet.
unfortunately, however, my (relatively anonymous) blog has become some sort of a problem within "real life"

and it can no longer continue this way

i may be starting a new open blog without any identification

email me your email address if you want to continue reading

heather.kouros@loop.colum.edu
or facebook me if you do that stuff)


(p.s. tim bauer, i already got your message will put you on love. miss you. heather)

John Pfahl

a list of supreme desires

supreme desire to not think about anything or move or anything
supreme desire to clothe myself in many shades of gray or brown
supreme desire to eat chocolate and have someone pet my head

i've been trying to hang on to the little things, polishing them and holding them like gems in my pockets to keep me distracted from the way it feels to be so cold.

i've been taking the train, which i could say is due to the certain appeal of public transportation but is more because of the fact that chicago winters make me wants to lock all of my limbs into sweaters and thick socks and not move or sweat or breathe unless its through some kind of shroud of warmth.

at wendy's today i ordered coffee before getting at the train and the women smiled that kind of twinkling smile at me when i asked for cream and sugar and it felt like i had opened my hand and worn, gentle fingers were placing a chocolate in my palm. she put too much sugar in it, which is the problem with asking for anything, but i kept sipping on the edges hoping to absorb some kind of well-intentioned love.

when i see someone that i used to know well or still feel some sort of strange attachment to i want to spew my guts to them about the stupidest things like the notch in my ear and my brother drinking milk on video.